95 posts tagged “bamboo plant”
Sometimes, when you are committing the relationship with your partner, it is advisable for both of you to stay together and hold your secrets between two of you. As such, these will make both of you gaining respect, trust and understandings. I guess it is simply straight forward and easy to comprehend. Don't you want to have a better relationship? You have to believe in yourself and your partner's words and do take note that such words can not be revealed to anyone else as they may give any misunderstanding or misconception that mislead both of you to wonder why.
A better advice will be simply whichever conversations that you have with your partner, just keep it to yourself. That is because if they are to share with other friends, the other friends may get the same answers and commitments as both of you. Your partner may get extremely surprised that her friends have known something from you that both of you actually keep the words to yourself. That is provided when both of you are committed in the love relationship, that some stuffs are not supposed to be revealed to others, especially your partner's friends or your friends as well.
Let's take for an instance, the social networking sites, like face book and Friendster, They are most well-known and popular networking friendship sites that allow everyone of us to know one another through the sites. However, if you and your partner happen to be in the networking sites and want to continue sharing your intimate secrets, therefore, what you can do is simply just sending the private messages that are available inside the applications, therefore other visitors who view the web profiles and web pages may not know what you are actually conversing with your love partner.
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The following steppingstones will show how to help love grow. They include exercises to strengthen our love muscles, and turn our lives around.
We are meant to live a life of love. However, no matter how successful some are in other aspects of their lives, they don’t feel it’s possible to have the same success in love. They tell themselves to “be realistic.” Being realistic about relationships” is considered natural as we “grow up” and give up the fantasies, foolishness and dreams of childhood. But being in love is the most mature and realistic thing you can do. It energizes your life, fills you with positivity, creates generosity and makes every moment beautiful. The body heals the heart is happy. The real question is, how can we learn to help love grow in all aspects of our lives? What gets in the way?
The following steppingstones will show how to help love grow, whatever our situation. They include exercises to strengthen our love muscles, and turn our lives around.
The One Right Besides You
Most of the time we are either searching for the right person or wanting to change the one we are with. We do not take a precious moment to stop and truly see the one who is right in front of our eyes. And, beyond that, though we may not be aware of it, we do many things to push that person away.
Look at a person who is close to you right now – anyone it happens to be. Notice what you are demanding of them in order to be happy together. Then notice the subtle ways in which you push them away.
For a moment, stop it. Spend time just being together. Allow things to go whatever way they do. Let all of it be fine just as it is.
Tomorrow, do the same thing with someone else. The more we can be “right” and happy with each person we meet, the fuller and more joyous our lives will be.
Playing At The Game of Love
So many complain that they are not loved. The reason for this can be quite
simple. They are so busy playing roles and games that the partner never gets to know who they really are. They never know either.
Notice what roles (or games) you play in relationships, and what roles you
demand others play.. See if you are in love with the person you are with, or with the role he/she is playing right now.
Turn this around for a little while. Stop playing roles completely. Love is not a game we play. Love is knowing and accepting yourself and the other exactly as they are. Who we are is always loveable and beautiful. It’s the roles that get in the way.
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With every goal you have in life, people will always be a critical part of it. How fast you reach your goals depends on how well you deal with people and the level of influence you have on them. In order to really influence people you must become a person who is likable. How do you become likable? You must have a sincere interest in other people. Every person on this earth wants to feel important, so you need to treat everyone with the up most importance, because they deserve it. Remember no one is better than you and you are not better than anyone, we are all human beings who deserve the same amount of respect.
Becoming Likable:
Setting the Stage
Your goal in meeting people should be to consciously be the first to initiate and set the stage for conversation. Most people are hesitant to be the first, don’t be like most people step out of your comfort zone. I know that if you are a shy person that this can be one of the hardest things for you to do, but the more you do it, the more you condition your self for it to become second nature. As a small kid I used to be really shy but I noticed that the kids that where outgoing tended to be the happier kids so I began to step out of my comfort zone and now I feel I can walk up to almost anyone. This is going to take time; things don’t happen over night but don’t let this discourage you. Many people feel that for you to become proficient in something takes around five years. Don’t waste anytime, start today and each day after that will get easier. Each different experience will later serve as a reference to remind you, that you can approach almost anyone. By being the first to initiate conversation you also automatically have a certain degree of control, you are able to draw people into your own rhythms. Have you ever noticed how persuasive people are able to seduce you to their ways, dictating your body language and basically synchronizing it to theirs? This is because people naturally imitate other people as a way of communicating with the other person. So if you are the first you get to decide what angle to approach. So if the person you are approaching appears sad, approach them with a big confident smile. Odds are they will slowly begin to smile; you will automatically change their mood. Now you will have a better chance of having a better conversation.
In setting the stage you will need to train your self to pick up any subtle signals that the person you are approaching is giving off. With time you will be able to sum up a person in a blink of an eye and from what your subconscious catches use it help you set the stage. This will require you to have an open mind and immerse your self in as many different worlds/cultures as possible. That’s why I never limit my self to one particular set of friends. I have friends from all sorts of backgrounds. I have friends who are skaters, basketball players, artists, musicians, writers, etc. By having so many friends with diverse interests I quickly learn about their worlds. By knowing what kind of stage to set up you will know how to get the other person to think very highly of you. For example by being observant you will catch the subtleties in the way a person appears to be (The way he is dressed, body language, tone of voice, language, etc.) which will help you to imagine placing your self in there shoes. By really imagining what being that person is like it will give you a good idea of how he/she is feeling. This in turn helps you get a better idea of what appproach to use when trying to communicate effectively with them. When I am able to pick up persons subtleties I will know what topics, questions, and general things that appeal to them which gives me information to work with in the process of winning that person as a friend. Like if know this person is really passionate about cars, I will ask a question with the minimum knowledge I have about something that he knows or thinks he knows a lot about.
Now you set the stage for Mike who will love to tell me exactly why the Mitsubishi EVO is better. When someone is knowledgeable about something it’s in their nature to tell you because it is one more opportunity for them to show how great or smart they are. You have to cater to their ego and never test or contradict their ideas, because their ego will not accept someone who is supposed to know less tell them they are possibly wrong. If I would have told him that I heard that the Subaru WRX is better, we would have just gotten in an argument that he would not have backed out of. But I didn’t and now they will love me for it, because I was taking interest into what he enjoys.
Body Language
Whenever you approach someone for the very first time your body language will do most of the talking and the other person will immediately have a first impression of you. So you must always be aware that whatever you say your body is also in agreement. If you say one thing and your body says the opposite you will come out as someone fake. We have all seen the girl that walks up to another girl and says “I’m so happy to see you…how you been?....you look so good…” but their body language is saying “what are you doing here….I’m not really listening to what your saying” this is easily seen and can be one of the rudest things you can do in trying to make new friends. Always approach someone with open gestures and a smile. If you approach someone with crossed arms, this will automatically make the other person defensive and question your motives. Approach them with open arms and a gentle smile, smiling is infectious if the other person has a stern look on their face the moment youapproach them with a smile you will gradually notice that they will smile too. This usually sets it up for a good conversation because both people are in good moods. Try this - if you’re in a neutral mood right now, put a big smile on your face for no reason if you pay attention you can feel your body changing and your mood immediately start to change. People who are in good moods will place a lot more importance to what you have to say.
Questions and Listening
Your next goal is to sincerely try to find out as much as you can about the person. Ask quality questions; find out what is important to the person, goals, beliefs, interests, etc. The key is to be sincere so the person feels comfortable and is more likely to open up. Try to have a calm demeanor refrain from being overly eager as this might scare the person. You must be able to match the mood of the person. If the person is excited to tell you a story you must become excited as well. If the person is telling you a sad story you must show sincere empathy. Be open minded and really listen to the person.
Listening: Try to listen at least twice as much as you talk. Listening requires more than just pretending to listen or simply hearing a person talk. Listening and hearing are two completely different things and the person can tell if you’re really listening to them, or simply hearing them speak. Being a good listener is a skill, you must become an active listener. Remember this is all about the other person, who cares if you don’t get to talk about your self. In the end the other person will love you for it. They will tell their friends
“Man I really enjoyed talking to that person”….why is that? Was he a very interesting person? “You know what…I really don’t know why…I really don’t know much about him”
This shouldn’t bother you because in the end you greatly benefited from the situation as well. If you’re an effective listener you will gain a better understanding of that person’s thoughts, perspectives, feelings and actions. You have to remember that most people would rather talk than listen, but most of the time this person is not very influential. Take this as an opportunity to become more persuasive and influential.
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What, if any, are the differences between love and dating? What is love? What is dating? Undoubtedly, many people will insist there is no difference between love and dating, and most certainly, many of you out there are dating and love the person you date. Nonetheless, not everyone who dates actually loves the person they are currently with, just as you don’t date everyone you love. Love; love is a huge subject, much has been said on the topic of love, and without a doubt much more has yet to be said.
By definition, dating is going out and seeing someone socially. In the modern world we live in, many people think nothing of dating several people at once, perhaps this is just part of a selfish compulsion to have as much as one can for oneself; or it may be a way of testing the situation. After all, we can buy goods and take them back if we don’t like them and test-drive a car, why can’t we test relationships. Going out with several people is also a way to try to avoid getting hurt, most of us have been hurt in the past and don’t ever want to go through such an awful experience ever again. So we close ourselves off, refuse to allow ourselves to develop true feelings or “love”, instead we go out with multiple partners, date casually and break things off whenever we feel they are getting too serious or love-like.
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It is easier to solve a problem when there are two willing minds to do it. When you need help of course you turn for help to your family. But when something really serious comes up you think about the only person whom you can trust, your faithful friend.
Even if your life is perfect and everything is running like clock work, one day you still may get into trouble or there will be a problem that you will not be able to solve yourself. What you do is call a friend, a person whom you can always rely on. He will never betray you and your secrets, never lie, never deceive. Once you have no way out and problems seem to surround you like enemies, your mind goes blank and the only desire you have is to hide your head in the sand and pretend that you don’t hear or see what is going on. And than he comes, the rescuer, a fresh mind and a strong hand to pull you out to the surface and help you to face your problems. But does your friend correspond to that description?
You are surrounded by a lot of people daily, who claim to be your friends. You spend much time with them thinking of them as friends. But when it comes to help or advice they all seem to disappear, to evaporate suddenly after leaving you with a thousand made up excuses. You feel deceived and have no idea of what to do. Then a thought dawns on you that in your phone book there is still a number of an old friend of yours that you haven’t seen for years now. You know that if you call him and ask for help, he’ll wake up in the middle of the night, lean you all his money, give shelter even he has a family of six to keep.
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There are many ways to express love to your partner other than quoting the actual words "I Love You." Usually the fire in relationships dies down after a while and the feeling of your heart pounding with the excitement of being with your significant other is not felt nearly as often, or even at all.
So, how do we get back that love, passion and warm feeling that wraps around us and penetrate our thoughts in the beginning of a relationship?
Many say actions speak louder than words so below I have listed 5 secrets of seduction to help you show your partner how much you truly love them:
1. Flirt
This is a light-hearted seduction with the intent of conveying love! Why not send a sexy text message or email while you are at work? This reminds the other person that you are thinking about him or her. It also increases the intensity of love so that you actually look forward to seeing each other when you return home from work.
2. Candles
According to Feng Shui, the seduction candle is red and the ingredients are musk, patchouli, pine, cedar and juniper. This secret of seduction can put back the romance in your relationships. Why not fill your room with scented candles and turn off the lights just to relax in each others arms? The extra effort goes a very long way!
3. Food
It is said that "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach," however this is also thought to be the secret of successful seduction of women too. Show your love by setting up a surprise dinner for two. Add flowers, soft music and incense to create a seductive love nest. Aphrodisiac foods such as oysters, chili, chocolate, figs, honey and walnuts are said to aid in the stimulation of your loved ones hormones.
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When Gary Player arrived in the United States in the late 1950s, he was already becoming known as a “world traveler.?His schedule was at first limited; nevertheless, he quickly made an impression on many of the home-grown pros, and soon developed a reputation among them as a "lucky" golfer. As is common when faced with someone who is more successful, many of the regular Tour players decided Player was winning because he was luckier than they. Incidentally, this epithet would also be hung around the neck of Seve Ballesteros when he burst upon the tournament golf scene.
Rumors of Player’s lucky play were circulating in the clubhouse after he had won a PGA tournament, and a less than tactful reporter asked him to comment on the matter. Throughout his career, Player has always seemed to be at his best when the odds were against him, and he summed up his feelings about luck by paraphrasing Thomas Jefferson.
“Sure I'm lucky,?he told the journalist, “and the more I practice the luckier I get.?
Make no mistake about it. The key to dramatically improving your “luck? is practice. Other pro golfers were reluctant to admit, even to themselves, that Gary Player practiced harder than they, hitting thousands more balls as he grooved and fine tuned his swing. Or that he showed up before dawn and stayed after dusk, then went to bed early, avoiding parties and hangovers. They also ignored the fact that he compensated for his small stature with a rigorous program of exercises and muscle building, long before it became fashionable to do so. Player was almost fanatical about his diet, his body and his physical conditioning, all with the objective of playing better golf. Other pros dismissed his fine performance as "lucky" because is was more comfortable than facing the cold, hard truth. He was better than most of them because he worked harder and tried harder.
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Did you ever wonder if it is possible to improve your luck like your weight, grades in school, earnings potential, dance skills or batting average? Could certain little things we do or the way we do them increase our genius problem solving ability? Would you like to learn how to get the concepts in the movie "The Secret" to work flawlessly every time?
I sat in the rental office holding back a surge of tears. Eighteen hours before my plans were to move in with my fiancé. However after recognizing an irreconcilable difference between us, I was left without a place to live. I had only two weeks before my moving date. After that I would be homeless. The only apartment they had was on the second floor without a screened patio. My cats that were used to going outside would be imprisoned. I had looked at many rental communities. They all lacked what I needed.
I went home in a state of shock and despair. Earlier that day I sat down, did my meditation and commanded the universe to provide the perfect living arrangement for me. This perfect place would be on the first floor, have a screened in patio with a door on it for exit, highly private exposure and ridiculously reasonable rent.
With tears in my eyes I sat in the rental office signing their papers thinking, "My luck is rotten. This metaphysics stuff does not work!"
I went home in shock. My sister and her husband came over to help me pack, but all I could do was wander around aimlessly. The rest of the day passed thusly. I finally relinquished into an early stupor of sleep.
The next day, Saturday, I awoke relaxed. As I prepared breakfast I suddenly remembered an apartment complex I used to live near a few years earlier. I had this feeling, this intuition, that maybe they might have the right apartment. I got on the Internet to look for them.
There it was -- the complex I had remembered. When I called they miraculously had five to six first floor apartments vacant all with exit doors off screened in patios, and were providing two free months on an already very reasonable monthly rent! How could this be? All the other rental communities I had contacted had very few vacancies, none with screened in patios and very few on the first floor.
It was like "Brigadoon," the movie. Amidst the wasteland, this little apartment complex emerged as an anomaly. I thought there must be something wrong to have such a high vacancy rate and to provide two free months rent. However when I saw the model, it and the grounds were perfect.
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You know as well as I do that we cannot influence the results of a lottery and the roll of a dice. But luck can be quite predictable, if you put in the hours of study and effort your lucky break will show up any day. Whatever you have done or thought of in the past produced your experiences today. It is simply the law of cause and effect.
Being driven and single minded of your purpose will make you tense thus your anxiety will consequently cause you to miss out all the opportunities that could have been favorable to you. By being relaxed and open to new experiences and possibilities will increase the chances of spotting and seizing the opportunities that will come your way.
On the contrary, in the business climate, we are traditionally encourage to be purposeful, driven , doggedly tenacious and never give up until we reached our goals and all the good things that we have sought for in the first place. I think in order to be lucky we have to strike a happy balance of being focused and flexible with perfect timing.
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In Pursuit of Happyness, Will Smith plays Chris Gardner, a motivated man living on the last of his means. Chris is constantly looking for a consistent quality of life, but seems to get beaten down at every road. A few times throughout the movie, Gardner expresses his thoughts on happiness, and whether or not it is actually attainable. Happiness can be looked at in many ways, but I will outline two of them: Short-Term and Long-Term happiness.
Short-Term happiness is achievable by anyone. Regardless of your age, gender, social status, economic status, etc. It can be experienced everyday. The exciting feeling of getting that paycheck, the excitement of watching your favorite movie, the internal joy of expressing gratitude, or it can be the motivational nudge received when you complete an activity/goal. We may not notice, but feelings of happiness occur often throughout our lives, we just need to know how to look for it. It can strike us when we need it most: In the Pursuit of Happyness, Chris gains short-term happiness when he sells each bone density scanner for $250. It is the happiness that he will be able to sustain his family for another month. And it also provides him with enough happiness to accomplish his long term goal of becoming a stock broker.
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